Pearl Jam My Life.....

Oh dear dad
Can you see me now
I am myself
Like you somehow
I’ll ride the wave
Where it takes me
I’ll hold the pain
Release me

When I first heard this song I was just 13 years old, I loved the song but never really understood it’s true meaning. Fast forward to now, 30 years old and motherless. I now fully understand the pain in that song, the wanting to connect with your lost parent. I listen now and feel it deep in my heart and I see it now as a last call to your loved one. I can only hope my mom can see me now, I hope she can be proud of who I am and who I strive to be.
I’m trying to ride that wave but I’m fearful, I’m trying to hold on to yesterday and I’m trying to hold the pain. Eventually with time I now that I will be released and I can focus on healing. But though the wound may heal I’ll forever carry the scars and I will never forget my mommy.

jezebeljinx asked: First of all I want to say I'm sorry for your mother. I've read your post and it was heartbreaking, but beautiful in the same way. I've lost my dad a year and a half ago (cancer), and in the months following his death Pearl Jam were a really big support to me. For some reason PJ feels like the last string that connects me with him. I wish you all the best and I hope you can find as much comfort in music as I did.

I’m sorry to hear about your loss as well. I completely feel the same about the connection through the music of Pearl Jam.
Thanks so much for your kind words

i-shit-and-i-stink asked: so sorry to read about your mum - i can't imagine what you're going through and i won't try to pretend that i know how it feels, but i commend you on your strength and wish you lots of light and positive thoughts in these darker times. music is healing and i'm glad that pearl jam have helped you - all the best and i'm here if you need to talk :)

Thanks so very much for your kind words I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

mikemccreadypj:

Gave Neil Young my guitar during Rockin!! What a fun set . He rocked the house…. What a crazy few days… Life is good.Mike

Wow… Sounds like it was an amazing show! Wish I was there

Two months, two months since my last post. I read that simple line and remember the moments before my world crumbled down. July 6th I was at an Eddie Vedder show, and to be honest I don’t remember a thing about that day. That day and the days after are a blur to me. July 7th, the day after the show, I remember being under the show high and I couldn’t wait to go to the Angels baseball game to watch Mike McCready play the national anthem and I really couldn’t wait to get my hands on my autographed baseball. A short trip to the beach was planned before all the planned activities. I remember looking out to the ocean and reflecting on how beautiful the day was. I even took a picture of my PJ20 sticker with the ocean as a backdrop. I placed my phone down after the picture and went back to the phone only minutes later, I had a missed call from a strange number. I listened to the voicemail, an official sounding man looking for the family of my mom, he has bad news….
I don’t remember much after that, all I knew was a horrific car accident had occurred just a couple hours earlier and my mom died.
The four hour drive home took a lifetime, I remember that my Lost Dogs CD was in the player and it kept repeating the entire way.
Two months later an I’m still in shock is this real? Now more than ever this little band we all love has truly become a soundtrack. A soundtrack of pain, regrets and some healing.

Eddie Vedder closes Long Beach show with Mike McCready playing Yellow Ledbetter!!!